Being Bi-Polar…

A lot of you who know me know I’m bi-polar.  And if you know me, and didn’t know I was bi-polar have the good grace to act surprised.

What you may not know is that a lot of the time being bi-polar is a massive pain in the ass.

The mood swings are bad enough on their own….but actually, it occurs to me that since the global economy started tanking its been easier.   Now when I, for no particular reason, break down into a sobbing mess in the grocery store, no one looks twice because with prices being what they are its not uncommon to see people sobbing in the corners plugging numbers into calculators.

I should point out that when I actually rarely break down into tears when grocery shopping.  Most of the time I sing.  There have been times when I’ve been complimented on my singing…like the time I finished my rendition of “I Dreamed a Dream” from Les Mis while picking over peppers.  The lady next to me said that was the most beautiful version of that song she’d heard sung by a male…I tried to blush prettily but being a big, burly sort I think I only achieved “constipated” .

I once did the Phantom of Opera in its entirety while shopping at a mall.  No one complimented me then, but I was quite impressed with myself.

One of the most annoying things about being bi-polar is other people.

Some people like to attribute pretty much everything I do to being bi-polar…let me give you an example:

Me: [yelling a lot, expressing displeasure with the actions of an acquaintance]

Her: “Oh sweetie, you’re angry?  Are you manic? Have you been taking your meds?”

Me: “YOU JUST DELETED AN ENTIRE SEASON OF DR. WHO ON MY PVR TO MAKE ROOM FOR A ‘DANCING WITH THE STARS’ MARATHON AND YOU THINK I’M MAD BECAUSE I’M NOT TAKING MY MEDS??!!!”

…you should know that I typically despise anything with “Dancing” or “with the stars” in the title…but I really like Dr. Who.
This particular misadventure caused me to discover fodder for another blog entry “How Rogers ‘On-Demand’ Promotes Piracy”…but I’m digressing again.

Well, actually a situation like that wouldn’t cause me to yell…just be irritated….but “YOU THREW OUT 3 YEARS WORTH OF TAX RECEIPTS BECAUSE YOU DIDN’T KNOW WHAT THEY WERE….DID THE FACT THAT THEY WERE STAPLED TO FANCY PAPERS WITH ‘TAX RETURN’ WRITTEN ALL OVER THEM NOT CLUE YOU IN!???” just didn’t sound as humorous….and I exaggerated, it was only one tax receipt.

Another thing that likely happens to bi-polar people are conversations like this:

Other Person: Hey, you’re a bit down?
Me: Yeah, just a bit of depression, no big deal.
Other Person: Why are you depressed?
Me: [flat look] I’m bi-polar, I don’t need a [expletive deleted] reason to be depressed!
Other Person: Awww, you’re angry…are you taking your meds?
Me: Look Officer, just STFU and give me my ticket!

Now, if you watch pretty much any crime drama on tv that was made in this century you will know that if I go off my meds I will likely go on some violent crime spree…because every maniac (I use that term deliberately…because I really like irony) who does atrocious things isn’t just some sicko hell-bent on causing mayhem, but is in fact “bi-polar and off his meds”….and if you follow these programs you will wonder often if the “bi-polar and off their meds” folk aren’t actually the ones with badges and guns.

I know a few bi-polar people, and have seen some of them off their meds and I can assure you that not one of them have called me in the middle of the night to confirm that I drive a Buick, and that the trunk is empty, and if I own a spade, other digging device, or a shiny metal badge.  (the answer to those would invariably be “Yes”,” No”,”Does a snow shovel count?”, and “Ummm…what??”).

For the record there is pretty much zero chance of me going on a crime spree if I go off my meds, because that would take effort, and whilst off my meds I am rather lazy (its hard to muster the energy)…and well…it would interfere with World of Warcraft.

There are lots of people out there who are bi-polar, and probably a lot more that are undiagnosed…or do things that make you wonder if they’re bi-polar or not.  The state of the world economy isn’t making it easier to pick them out though…which is a sad state of affairs.  If you were anywhere near a television in the last few months you will have seen footage of them camping in droves in city parks around the world….until, in some places, some “bi-polar and off their meds” types came along and beat the crap out of them with batons.

Note to self….buy Pfizer stock…

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