Simply the Best

The other day I had to call a client to follow-up on an issue.  When I was placed on hold I found myself listening to some caterwauling that I believe was Rebecca Black’s Friday at a considerably higher volume than the receptionist’s voice.  Grimacing and holding my phone away from ear I expected a commercial for a clinic specializing in treating bad music induced PTSD, but no…a radio identification spot came on.  The big-radio voice told me what station I was listening to and then followed up with, “Playing only today’s best music!”

Instead of telling me the method they used to determine that their music was the best, an equally horrible song came on.   I was relieved to hear a soft click and the receptionist’s voice.

“Hi David, she’ll be right with you.  I’ll put you back on hold, okay?”

“Dear god…no…please…”.

I realized that the “okay” bit was rhetorical as I was once again assaulted with that horrible music.  I should point out that this was a doctor’s office I was calling so that it will make sense to you when I say I began to wonder if the Hippocratic Oath applied to their hold music.

When I listen to the radio, I listen to FM96 out of London, Ontario.  “London’s Best Rock”

They occasionally play music that makes me whap the off button of my radio as if it was a malaria carrying mosquito, but I listened to this station as a kid and the other radio stations in range would either play “Friday”, or worse..anything by Justin Bieber.

Their morning DJ’s “Tucker & Taz” were the morning crew in Kingston, Ontario when I lived there.  I listened to the station because it was the only rock station in the area that wouldn’t play something like Friday if it were out back then.   I thought T&T at that time had some maturity issues and their humour was the sort that IMO appealed to 12 year olds.

I like listening to them now, especially Tazmania.  Either they’ve matured, or I’ve regressed.  Anyone’s guess on which applies.

Oh, if you’re wondering I actually heard about Rebecca Black from Tucker & Taz.  They were laughing about the Youtube video of what was touted “The Worst Song Ever” by some commenters.  When I got to work I went and had a look.  I linked it to the department with the caption “ITS FRIDAY!!!”.   (Note to self:  Apologize to the department for that)

So, lets get to the point I want to make here.

How often do you see marketing touting their offerings as “The Best!!!”.   When I lived in Barrie there were no fewer than 4 restaurants claiming that they had “The Best Breakfast”.  There were no qualifiers like “Best Breakfast in a 5 mile radius”,  or “Best Breakfast as chosen by a panel made up of the owner and his family!”

One day I drove around looking for “The 3rd Best Breakfast”.  After the second tank of gas I stopped and had dinner.  This place didn’t say they had the best anything, but I practically lived there.  “The Country Kettle”  on Dunlop.    I miss that place…but my waistline doesn’t :).

I haven’t checked, but I don’t think anyone’s been dragged before the courts for false advertising after they claimed to offer “The Best!”,  thereby encouraging rampant over-use.

Thanks to marketing,  overuse has diluted adjectives that were once helpful in picking out quality services to the point where they become meaningless.  But then again, I’m probably the only person in history whose ever gone looking for the “3rd Best Breakfast”.

Btw, This blog you are reading is the best in the world.  By that I mean, the absolute best!


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