This morning at around 6:30 my pager woke me up. A user needed help signing in and sync’ing up with our single sign on system.
That took about 20 minutes and I went back to bed.
I woke up from a dream at around 8am.
I tend to dream vividly. Hi-def, Dolby 7.1 type dreams.
In my time seeing Dr. N and Roberta I’ve realized that dreams are messages from my subconscious. Which makes perfect sense, its not like Steven Spielberg is beaming them into you brain at night, and if he was, he’d have nothing on me. Dr. N has surmised that my odd and vivid dreams are a manifestation of my creativity.
My more vivid dreams are usually milestones in the progress I’m making.
Before I woke up at 8am I dreamt I was in a car dealership doing IT work. Which is odd, considering that I work in a hospital. Odder still was the fact that most of my co-workers there, are my co-workers here.
We were standing around talking, I forget about what, but I know that some guy came down and asked if I could help out with a sql server problem. I didn’t know who he was but I remember watching him walk up a flight of stairs wondering what the hell he was thinking, wearing tight green polyester pants and a lumberjack shirt to work.
There was also cake. I reached around someone to grab one of the last pieces and came away with a napkin instead.
There’s a lot of carrying on and good humour like there is in my work place. I eventually take my leave.
When I leave the building I am walking to the road beside an old stone church. Another one of my co-workers is crouched down, trying to peer into the windows (I do not think this is odd). I greet him. Shelby comes running up barking…his “pay attention to me” bark. He is scrambling around trying to see inside the church too.
I give him a pat on the head and he runs out ahead of me like he did when we were in off leash areas.
He gets to the sidewalk and turns around. I see him squat to do his business and say, “Hey!”, and point down the street. He takes off out of sight.
I turn the corner and he’s standing on a little embankment beside the sidewalk. He’s wearing his red leash that I haven’t seen in a while. Although its not tied to anything I know that it means he’s going no further.
I stop and give him a pat. I note how warm he feels. The same thing I noted when I gave him one last pat on the head after he died. He’s looking up at me with his doggy smile and happily wagging his tail. I can tell he knows that he’s staying too.
Wordlessly, and even a little bit happy I turn and head down the sidewalk, leaving him behind. In my dream it is a beautiful summer day.
I wake up and remember my dream and marvel that I am not in tears.
Then I open my eyes, and all that changes.
I eventually went back to sleep for a bit and woke up and had forgotten all about it.
Just before I started to write this, I was leaving the kitchen and stopped to straighten his picture that’s on my fridge…and I remembered.
Although this dream has significant and positive symbolism. Today, well, right now, I am sad. I miss my little buddy.