The Menace in YOUR Neighbourhood!!!

There is a prolific evil in the modern world that lurks in almost every urban neighbourhood.  In fact you can often find this evil in the middle of nowhere.

You may picture this as something they only have to worry about in far off places where such monsters can lurk, undetected…emerging only to feed.

But no….they are everywhere.   Unless you live deep in the woods I can guarantee that you’ve seen at least one last time you went out to run errands….and if you’re in an urban area….you’re surrounded!

Two American Alligators (Alligator mississippi...
(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

You might think I’m talking about pet alligators being flushed down toilets and then growing to monstrous porportions,  but I’m not!

You remember when you were a kid (presuming you aren’t still one)…remember when you’d spread your fingers and place them on top of of your friend’s head and then say, “What’s this???”,  and answer with much hilarity “A brain sucker starving!!!”

Well friends….there are real brain suckers out there, and they are far from starving!

I’m talking of course about parking lots!

Where else, except maybe on reality television, can you see perfectly reasonable, rational people doing things that are so patently stupid that they risk injury or death?  Things that they would never  do anywhere else!

Do you see entire families walking hand in hand, line abreast (that means beside each other) down a road?  Seriously,  if you saw mom and dad walking their toddlers down a busy street you’d call the cops (or take a video to upload to Youtube),  but in a parking lot…perfectly acceptable behaviour, except of course when your entire family gets mowed down by some guy looking for a parking spot!

It doesn’t matter if you’re behind the wheel (of a car…not those toy rides) or on foot,  you will dash merrily to and fro between parked cars without a care in the world….and without looking to see if your path is going to intersect with another vehicle/person/shopping car.    Its like all that effort your mom spent screaming at you to not run out into traffic (without looking first) is wasted once you enter a parking lot.

Knowledge of basic physics also seems to drift away….some blatant examples:

-no matter how cool the purchase you’ve made (or are about to make) is it will not reduce the potential for serious injury as you dash behind cars that are reversing (being driven by drivers who are equally oblivious to the fact that you exist…as they too have made cool purchases that they want to get home and play with).   The physics here are quite simple steel, fiberglass, carbon fiber (whatever it is they make cars with nowadays)  >  clothing/flesh/bone.   Every time!  Just a note here.   If you’ve made a cool purchase prior to getting smushed by a car,  someone will steal it as you lie writhing in pain!

Another thing that baffles me is how people pick parking spaces!   Have you ever noticed that on a moderately busy day that all the parking spots in the rows near the doors are taken (right up the end)?   But there are plenty of spaces open in the first 5-10 slots of the rows that are 3 or 4 rows removed from the door?   Maybe its me, but do people like walking or do they not realize that the distance is shorter?

I’ve driven quite a few kilometers in my life.  All the way across Canada two or three times (once alone and virtually non-stop),  10’s of thousands of kilometers on freeways…and I’ve seen people do some astoundingly stupid things.   But I’ve never been so fearful, or agog at rampant stupidity as in parking lots!

I do not exclude myself from this of course 🙂  I always forget where I parked!   Driving a Buick Park Ave in a city with many, many senior citizens makes it very hard to pick an individual Buick out of a crowded parking lot!


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