ISIS Downgrades Threats

Awhile back,  ISIS….the band of masked nutjobs trying to take over the Middle East,  not the Egyptian Goddess, attempted to terrorize the West by threatening to make us feel unsafe in our own bedrooms.

There were no specifics on how they intended to do this,  but this threat made it clear that they had never met my first wife….or my current dogs:

200lbs of Don't Mess with the Bringer of Food and Thrower of Balls
200lbs of Don’t Mess with the Bringer of Food and Thrower of Balls

Back when ISIS was big and scary,  and started making these threats,  I wrote about how their inconsistent message called their integrity into question….and how,  if I was a power mad despot,  I wouldn’t let some crazy Brit run around beheading people on YouTube.

Today’s headlines are talking about how ISIS threats and activities indicate that they are in decline.

It might be a bit much to expect from a band of religious zealots who happily bend the word of Allah to whatever strikes their fancy,   but I have to wonder if perhaps its time they downgrade their threats to meet their new reality.

So maybe instead of feeling unsafe in our bedrooms,  they could aim to say,  make us feel slightly uneasy in the upstairs hallway,  and instead of threatening an entire mall,  they could say threaten to say,  use the toilets in the washroom and not flush afterwards…because you know…everyone hates walking in on that.

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