Over lunch I received an email on my work account. I saw “Can you help me” with a name I didn’t recognize in the toaster pop up so I went to read it, thinking it might be from a new hire.
It was a marketing email from a company that specializes in direct mail services.
It was pretty terrible.
I’m not the best with grammar, and the occasional spelling mistake will slip by, but some of them make the text hard to read.
It was so bad, I want to re-write it and send it back.
Here are some examples:
I work for an company that has invested 25 years in being poised to….
I think there was some editing, but who wants to do business with a company that has been poised to do something for 25 years?
You can help us grow further and be a bigger impact in more lives
As a customer, I’d be more interested in how a vendor can help me.
From the rest of the text, I think this is very small business looking to expand out by bidding on contracts.
They do mention focusing on hiring minorities and diversification.
I would normally have completely ignored this as they are US based, and we have no need of their services. But after reading it, I’m really wanting to re-write it for them.
What do you think? Should I?