RTOD: Other Drivers II

Some more questions I would like to ask, or things I would like to say to other drivers during my daily commute:

 

Seriously,  why did you speed up while I was trying to pass you???  I know you fricking well increased speed because I had my cruise control set!

 

Thank you so much for coming to a complete stop in the travel lane,  and then proceeding very slowly into the vacant left hand turn lane!  Seriously,  thank you!  Oh look,  that light half a block away is red now!  Yay!

 

Where did you learn to apply make up and drive at the same time?  Oh wait…you didn’t….

 

WTF is so interesting over to your left that you have to slow down and look????  Oh hey, now you have lots of time because we missed the light!

 

Wow,  thanks for giving me the opportunity to closely examine the grill of your pick up truck in my rear view mirror.  I know that from your aggressive driving that you are probably a world famous heart surgeon who is the only doctor on the planet capable of saving a small child and therefore really need to go faster,  but there’s only so much one can do when stuck in a line of traffic over a kilometer long!   Oh,  btw,  you can’t see my tail lights…

 

No,  it’s okay….I’m perfectly happy to wait here at a green light while you look at your phone.

 

MIRRORS!!!!  Look in your fricking mirror, or do a fricking shoulder check before making a lane change into what is usually referred to as the FAST LANE!!!!!  AND WHY THE FRICK DID YOU SLOW DOWN????   There isn’t an intersection in sight,  and you change into the fast lane and SLOW DOWN!!!!   Good thing my brakes work….and I was paying attention.

 

I’ve probably done some stupid things too….you can post them here if you’ve seen me do them.  I drive a  [static][garbled]

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