Telus Made Me Cry

Its been a rough few weeks for me.

On October 30th I had to let Colorado, my beloved Queen of Spazmania go. She went months after her cancer diagnosis of being her normal spazzy self, but the weekend before she went downhill so fast.
That Friday I bought her a new leash even…that’s how quick she went. 😦

Then on top of that, my friend Brandy, a woman who I loved like a sister passed away suddenly on Nov 19th.

I was devastated, and have had a hard time dealing with things.

A couple of days ago I sent my wireless provider, Telus, an email asking to cancel the phone she had on my account, explaining that she had passed.
I acknowledged in the request that I understood that I was still responsible for the device balance of several hundred dollars.

This afternoon I received a response from Michael from Telus.

I was with my friend Holly, about to climb in the car in a Tim Horton’s parking lot when I read the response.

When I read it, I managed an “Oh my god”…I started crying and it was a bit before I could compose myself to tell Holly what was going on.

She too started crying and I think we made quite the spectacle hugging and bawling.

Most people bitch about their providers…but this is not the case.

Michael informed me that Telus was waiving the remaining device balance on Brandy’s phone as they understood that it was a difficult time for me.

The simple kindness of the gesture was overwhelming, but so welcome.

I don’t have the words…except Thank You!

If my comedy career ever takes off and Telus needs a spokesperson, I owe them a solid.

For those of you who don’t know. Brandy is the woman in the picture. Colorado is the collie-x on the right.

My Great-Dane, Kharma is taking the loss pretty hard too.


Quasi-Inspirational Ravings #3

One day I saw a man standing on a corner holding a sign saying he was hungry and that he would work for food.

Taking pity on him,  I took him to the local sporting goods store and bought him a full set of fishing tackle.

I then took him to the local river and, with the help of Google,  I taught him how to fish!

We were both delighted at how quickly he picked it up!

I had taught a man to fish, so he could now feed himself for a lifetime!

Turns out that the parable did not take seafood allergies into account.

Morals of this story:

  • “Lifetime” as a unit of measure is relative
  • “Due Diligence” is more than a buzzword

Quasi-Inspirational Ravings #2

One day while on a stroll through the park I met an elderly gentleman sitting alone on an out of the way bench,  far from the children, dogs and humans who were enjoying a bright spring afternoon.

I asked his permission to share the bench.

He nodded and I might be wrong but I think he was happy for a bit of company.

We both sat in silence for a spell.  Each of us lost in our own thoughts.

Then, without warning he hit me on my head with his cane.

While I was still dazed he took my wallet, phone and watch before dashing off through the trees.

The moral of this story is that even old people sitting alone in a park can be assholes,  so always keep your guard up!


Quasi-Inspirational Ravings #1

Have you ever taken a moment and watched a butterfly as its about to take flight?

Did you marvel at the complexity required for such activity?

When you pondered the evolutionary path required to reach this point did it fill you with awe?

Has it occurred to you that “butterfly taking flight” could be replaced with any of the following:

  • A dog taking a dump
  • An old man farting
  • Donald Trump

The moral of this is don’t be like a butterfly,  butterflies are stupid.

Be like a human being who is slightly better than you.

Once you’ve done that, repeat.