I’d make a great Pharaoh,except I don’t speak Egyptian, can’t read hieroglyphs and hate the heat!
If you work in tech support, or any customer support function, you might write emails like this:
Thank you for bringing this issue to our attention.
We have resolved the issue.
Please let us know if you require further assistance.
Has any one ever been tempted to type
Some more questions I would like to ask, or things I would like to say to other drivers during my daily commute:
Seriously, why did you speed up while I was trying to pass you??? I know you fricking well increased speed because I had my cruise control set!
Thank you so much for coming to a complete stop in the travel lane, and then proceeding very slowly into the vacant left hand turn lane! Seriously, thank you! Oh look, that light half a block away is red now! Yay!
Where did you learn to apply make up and drive at the same time? Oh wait…you didn’t….
WTF is so interesting over to your left that you have to slow down and look???? Oh hey, now you have lots of time because we missed the light!
Wow, thanks for giving me the opportunity to closely examine the grill of your pick up truck in my rear view mirror. I know that from your aggressive driving that you are probably a world famous heart surgeon who is the only doctor on the planet capable of saving a small child and therefore really need to go faster, but there’s only so much one can do when stuck in a line of traffic over a kilometer long! Oh, btw, you can’t see my tail lights…
No, it’s okay….I’m perfectly happy to wait here at a green light while you look at your phone.
MIRRORS!!!! Look in your fricking mirror, or do a fricking shoulder check before making a lane change into what is usually referred to as the FAST LANE!!!!! AND WHY THE FRICK DID YOU SLOW DOWN???? There isn’t an intersection in sight, and you change into the fast lane and SLOW DOWN!!!! Good thing my brakes work….and I was paying attention.
I’ve probably done some stupid things too….you can post them here if you’ve seen me do them. I drive a [static][garbled]
Hey, it’s been awhile since I regularly drove any distance, but since starting to commute over an hour each way there’s a question I keep asking….
Is ‘Keep right, except to pass’ still a thing?
Because I’m thinking it’s more
‘Drive in whatever lane you want, even if you’re driving slowly, right beside another driver whose driving just as slowly!’
featured image: www.fairalbertaroads.ca
Every now and again you’ll hear people talking about their bucket list. Things they want to do before they die.
I’ve never really had a bucket list. It might be a Bi-Polar/ADHD thing, but there are things that I’ve really wanted to do, obsessed about really, and then, a few seconds/minutes/days later I’ve completely forgotten about it.
This included things like learning how to ski so that I could do this. (I’ll stop typing for a bit so you can stop laughing)
The other day I wasn’t watching where I was going and ended up kicking the bucket…well the pail. As I put it back in the closet I started thinking about bucket lists.
So, in no particular order, this is what I came up with:
Rule a small country
There are a lot of attractive things about being the supreme leader of a small country.
I was initially thinking the country should be in a warmer climate. The thing I absolutely detest the most about winter is the time I have to take to clean snow off my car and scrape ice off the windows. Then it occurred to me that if I was the supreme ruler, that there’s a pretty good chance that I’d have someone to do that for me….or a garage.
Then, as the supreme ruler, I could go completely insane and no one would ask me if I was off my meds. I could dance around naked and not worry about my neighbours leaving me notes asking me to please for the love of all that is holy to close my curtains.
Hell, I could decree that everyone dance around naked, with their curtains open.
Then there’s the bonus of being able to wear a fancy uniform with lots of brocade and other trimmings!
Of course, if I ran a country and didn’t have to worry about elections or what other people thought, I could ban things that piss me off like poverty and injustice.
No, seriously, I would do that. For real. In all the insanity and hijinks I would absolutely decree that security of person, shelter and nutrition were absolute David Given rights.
Find out why Angelina Jolie prefers that Brad guy over me
Seriously, this has been bothering me for a long time.
Learn Python and LUA
I don’t know why, but my attempts to become proficient in these languages have always been stymied.
I’m extremely proficient in what, something like 8 other programming languages, but I can’t seem to pick these up.
Perhaps its the structure and syntax, or maybe its…ohhhhhh shinnnnieeeee…..
Sorry, what was I talking about?
Finish reading the entire Game of Thrones saga
Yeah, this is a tough one.
I’m 50, so there’s a chance I might be able to tick this one off my list.
Have something I produce go viral
Yeah, I’m an attention whore…get over it.
These guys have obviously never met software developers…
I was just talking to a co-worker about the coming long weekend and all the signs talking about “Civic Holiday”.
I said, “I don’t care, its a day off. They could call it Crapfest Day and I’d still be happy!”
Happy #Crapfest Day everyone!